Episode 104: Sex and Money with Dr. Carolyn Elliott

Carolyn Elliott looking at the camera and smiling. existential kink. shadow work.

Did you know that you have a desire to fail? A desire to be rejected? A desire for scarcity? What would happen if you allowed yourself space to… enjoy them? I know that might sound crazy to us when we are hustling like mad to make rent, to grow our business, to reach our lofty goals—these are the very things we are working against! But hang on for a minute.

Dr. Carolyn Elliott is an alchemist of the psyche. She works with people to integrate their unconscious and conscious by transmuting fear and pain into joy and bounty. She is a coach, online program creator, and the author of Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power. This week, I am thrilled to be breaking taboos to talk about some shadowy shit! Yes, sex and money: the two things keeping you up at night. 

(A quick CW for folks, especially to you parents stuck at home with your young children: this episode does contain explicit references to sex, BDSM, and your deep discomfort with the idea of wealth.)

Carolyn’s work centers on the understanding that suppressing desires creates harmful patterns in our lives, as those desires try to sneak their way into being satisfied. Much like folks involved with BDSM create a safe container to fulfil a desire that seems dangerous, so does creating a container for these taboo life experiences allow us a place to be satisfied by them. Allowing our conscious mind to accept our unconscious desires and motivations allows our unconscious mind to accept and hold our conscious desires. We can succeed only when we do both!

Discussing discomfort with desire means we have to spend a lot of time talking about money. Carolyn breaks down the origin of money and our validly complex feelings around it. She disentangles the power of money from abuse of power and reminds us of the ways that money is actually a revolution for the people! Whoa. 

Tune in this week for some sexy talk and secret desires, but like… mostly about the contents of your wallet.

Show Notes:

2:21– What is Existential Kink and why that name?

16:46– Sex and Money: transmuting discomfort into pleasure and making space for both

26:09– Practical tools and common blockages

34:14– Check your resentment: Seeing money as play, rather than debt

Join the mailing list and get the first 3 chapters of Carolyn’s new book for free! 

Money: The Unauthorized Biography by Felix Martin

Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power

Connect with this week’s guest, Dr. Carolyn Elliott:

Connect with your host, Sarah M. Chappell:

Follow So You Wanna Be A Witch on Instagram and slide into the DMs to let me know what you think of the episode!

Intro and outro music from bensound.com